Our Lovely Debacles

Dear Friends, Recently a man* told me that he just got back from a wedding in Hawaii, and that he learned something quite remarkable. He is dating a woman—a trained opera singer—who was asked to sing at this wedding. She asked said man to accompany her on the guitar while she sang, as she had previously heard him play. Our …

On Potential: Own Your Reputation

We are judged by many things: Our looks, our words, our possessions and even those we associate with. Predominately we feel and act as if this is outside of our control and, arguably, in large part this is true. People are going to feel the way they feel and think the way they think. Yet just because something is not …

Books

Dear Friends, Have I mentioned that I love to read? My definition of a good book is one that picks you up where you are (emotionally, intellectually) and sets you down elsewhere. After reading something amazing, I find myself wondering, “How could I not have read this book?” Here’s some of the non-fiction books I am recommending as of late. …

Interviewing Deconstructed

Dear Friends, Every day, we meet people, and we want to know them, connect with them, understand who they are and discern if we want more time with them or not. This is interviewing. Traditionally, an interview is a series of predetermined questions created by the interviewee and asked in the manner of an oral exam of someone with lower …

Optimism Is an Act of Courage

Dear Friends, It’s almost overwhelming. Read anything, listen to any source, watch any program, and you’ll hear how we have mind-numbing problems of too few resources, too many demands, too much violence. Poll any group, and you’d certainly find we have too few leaders who can be trusted. Optimism, my friends, is an act of courage. All of the things …

The Too-Easy Solution

Dear Friends, When my son was young, he was wonderful in many ways, and he was also extremely strong willed. In other words, he could be a terror. Frequently he would be defiant, and I made up a story that he was all but immune to punishments such as time outs, or no dessert. In some level of frustration—bordering on …

Challenge Yourself

Dear Friends, Somewhere along the line, we may fall into a trap of telling ourselves and others that who we are simply is who we are. We hold tight to believing we have our defined personalities, characteristics, strengths and weaknesses. Period. We say, “This is just how I am; love me or leave me.” Really? What we’re saying to others—and …

Help Wanted: Problem Solver

Dear Friends, What is most important for us to learn? We may ask a young person, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And we may love to speculate, encourage, categorize and ‘figure this out’ for them. But this is most likely an ineffective activity. We should not be concerned about what job they may take, because …

The Art of Conversation

Dear Friends, I was out to dinner with a friend of mine a bit ago. We sat in a cozy spot, at a table for two, right next to a couple who looked like this might just have been their first (and, most likely, their last) date. It was hard not to overhear (well, everything) they said, and certainly their …

Assuming Goodwill

Dear Friends, How often does this happen: We get an email, or someone makes a comment—and almost immediately we think that they have an ulterior motive (and not a good one) or they mean so much more than what they just said or wrote? We then live this experience, the experience of attempting to guess what they really meant, and …